.: Me :.



aLstOn.jOhN.tAn.




ME


Known as : .: Alston John Tan :.
Age : .: 21 :.
D.O.B : .: 02/03/86 :.
Horoscope : .: Pisces :.
Job Status : .: Serving the nation :.
Company : .: SAF :.


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Welcome To My Life...
Saturday, July 31, 2004


Boring day...starting work next week...hmmm...kinda bored..i need to get my driving license soon! ARGH!

Sending a at 11:03:00 PM

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Welcome To My Life...



Sigh..am still bothered by the fact that i lost my hp. But i guess what Teddy said is true. Its fated. Sounds rather old fashion but i personally think its true.

Oh! To all my readers out there..*ahem*..haha..i got back my sim card already so my number is still 97412070 for sms and calls b4 7pm...and 90255735 for incoming calls all day & nite. Currently please divert all smses and calls to 97412070...because now i only have 1 phone..thanks!

Terence Neo: Thanks so much for your touching testimonial...feels so good..and yes i remember all the times we had when our fathers still had their shop at Far East Plaza. Playing sega when it first came out, running over to sunny bookshop to borrow books and then never return them..and also when we were on the cruise ship with the other kids..haha...waking up early to chiong to the arcade and then playing to the wee hours of the morning. Playing around with all the kids when our fathers were having their regular drinking session. I truly enjoyed those times. And yes, best buds always. Huat ah! Haha..

Thursday: Did nothing much..went out...catched a movie with Teddy, met up with Sean Goh, Denise and Michael played pool. Michael sneaked us into the theatre to catch I,Robot with them..my 2nd time watching it..understood it abit better.

Friday: Went back to MSHS at night for Founder's Day. Haha. Had so so so so so much fun. Almost all of MSHS 4J 2004 was present. So so much laughs in school and even when playing pool after that. Was such a huge group and to all that was present last night..had so much fun with you guys man! It was like a boys' night out! Had a blast..so much fun and laughter. Played pool over at Funky tilled 1.30am..hahaha...rocks!!! :D





Welcome To My Life...

Wednesday, July 28, 2004


Argh..i am so sad. Sigh..i lost my hp!! I left it in the cab..anyways..long story and i dun wanna talk about it anymore. Its so damm frustrating.

I am going to start work at giordano next week. Losing part of my freedom. It is going to be so hectic but i seriously got no more choice. I am left with no choice. I got to earn money to buy back my hp which will cost me $700!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And den i will save the rest of the money...

I need to find a way to lie to my father..someone help!



Welcome To My Life...

Tuesday, July 27, 2004


Nothing much happened today. Went shopping. Saw so many cool stuffs. Think i am going to get me a blazer. Its very nice..and when i gave it a try..i think i looked so...ermm..not me..hahaha...
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Welcome To My Life...

Monday, July 26, 2004


When a small girl sees me..she will go.."eeeee..so ugly.." I have resigned to fate. I am ugly. Ugly ugly face like donkey. Hmm..its ok..i still love me..

Boooring day today except for the time i went over to TP to meet up with Javin..haha..crapped wif him man...loved it..

Yawnx...whats new?



Welcome To My Life...



Yesterday was my step mother's birhtday...celebrated for her..had home cooked food..i ate alot...too much i think..which resulted to me having to succumb to my old habit again...vomitting. Vomitted before i slept...felt giddy but better now..its not like i am torturing myself juz because i am sad but i got so used to vomitting after meals that it has become a habit..and if i don't vomit..i would feel so uneasy..

Am @ the school e-learning plaza now. I have 2 more hours to kill before my last lecture for the day commences. Its so darn boring. Think i will be meeting Marcel and Teddy for dinner later even though i lack the cash, but its alrite..sometimes its good to not eat so much. Haha.

No plans for the week yet i supposed..except for founders day dinner on friday. Woner what would some people wear to impress the teachers..and what sort of branded stuff he would come up with..sometimes it just gets on my nerves..its not the brand that gets someone else's respect...its total bullshit if u ask me. Only wear expensive branded stuffs if you can afford it and only if it is truly yours...if not..forget it..

Am going shopping with my mother..as in my own natural birth mother on Wednesday. Haha. which is good cuz i get to bond with her and get to talk to her and see what kinda stuffs she can buy me..hahaha!! :D Going out with parents sometimes can be so fun. Never thought that i would say that. Hahaha. Well..i guess i am going to head over to the canteen now...juz hang around and see who i will bump into.... 

"I don't wanna feel the way that i do.
I just wanna be, right here with you..
I don't wanna see, see us apart...
I just wanna tell you straight from my heart..
..I miss you..." 



Welcome To My Life...

Sunday, July 25, 2004


I went for my usual family gathering yesterday. Played tennis..had dinner...and went home..nothing much. I am addicted to the song I Love You Came Too Late By Joey Macintyre. I love it.

Still sad...but its ok..i guess...

Step mother's birthday today. Can't go out. Booooring.



Welcome To My Life...

Saturday, July 24, 2004


Came back too late to blog last night. So can only do it now.

Went to school as usual, then went to play tennis and waddle a little in the pool with Ian, Marcel & Teddy. After which we over to Orchard to meet Samuel Lin. Have not really gone out together with him and hang out for ages. Had Mos Burger for dinner..had so much fun and laughter with Samuel around..he was full of shit..and so funny..really had a ball of a time.

Ian went off earlier, then the rest of us went to Kbox over at Cineleisure. It was very fun..but still..deep down inside, i am so so so depressed and sad. I am so sad. I don't think i will have the courahe to like anyone anymore in the future..the fear of failing is there and i already have no more swelf confidence in myself..sigh..

Moving on..Nurul joined us at around 9. She can really sing man! She sings damm well...excellent..2 thumbs and toes up!  



Welcome To My Life...

Thursday, July 22, 2004


What am i living for? What's my purpose in life? Hmmm...serious questions that i have to think about.

Anyways, went to catch I, Robot with Teddy, Marcel & Ian juz now. Not a very good show. Requires alot of thinking. I didn't think. Maybe thats why i didn't enjoy it. Too many things on my mind. Sigh. Today i got some news of something, which was shocking to me..and i have to accept it whether i like it or not..i am totally crushed now. Totally crushed. No more confidence in myself anymore..

I try to play the cool guy and stuff but deep inside..i am juz this little fucked up idiot that is so inferior...sigh...i dunno what to say..still recovering from shock..i dunno what to do either..

 



Welcome To My Life...



I don't know what to say. I try to be happy i try to put on a front..i'm always like that..but deep inside..it hurts..it really hurts...i'm fucking hurt. But thats always the case. Whats new..
I admit i am sick. I vomit everytime i eat. I vomit on purpose. I am sick..but who cares.

Its so drama..well..fuck it..i dun give a damm.



Welcome To My Life...

Monday, July 19, 2004


Went Sentosa yesterday...baked. Really baked.
 
Went to get Teddy his birthday present. Its awesome. Bought myself another t-shirt from Fox Men. Went to cut my hair today. Jieying accompany me. Lazy to type so much. :D



Welcome To My Life...

Sunday, July 18, 2004


Hahahahahahahaha!!!! I just dyed my hair...again...hahahahaha!! And this time i think it looks better....but i think some highlights would be better and a good new hair cut. But..what style and what colour for the highlight..hahaha!!
 
Went to White Sands in the afternoon to support Cassandra at the contact lens road show. Bought myself a new pair of coloured contacts and got Denise a pair of radiance colour contacts. I got grey colour and Denise got the moonlight colour.When she wear the contatc lens, her eyes will sparkle as if she saw diamonds man..haha.
 
Then Cassandra came to my house after work and chilled for awhile before heading out to TM to meet Denise and Dionne. Ate ate ate..talked talked talked..walked walked walked and met up with Jieying later on. Sat and ate again..then went home...
 
Hahahaha!! Happy wif my hair!!! I wanna work..but my father disallow me to work..argh..



Welcome To My Life...

Saturday, July 17, 2004


Too tired to blog last night. Reached home at 2am. Watched King Arthur before that. It was sooooo cool. So many people went. too lazy to type out their names. Haha. Ting Jun's wallet went missing. Dammit...so damm sad for her..sigh..she is so nice..yet such a thing happen to her!



Welcome To My Life...

Thursday, July 15, 2004


Went out for dinner with my mother and father..my real mother and father. I am so happy today..i thought that we were going to have one of those stupid talks to solve problems in the family. Dreadful? Nah..it was awesome. I was elated. Too happy that i teared. Seeing the way my mother and father behave...flirting...being so happy..disturbing one another..made me teared..i am so happy..no amount of words can express how i feel...happy..very happy. :~)



Welcome To My Life...



Didnt go school yesterday. A little sick. But i wento ut instead. Haha. Went out to Tampines Mall with Teddy and Marcel. Ate Macs and went to Fox Men to get some t-shirts. They got some really cool t-shirts man. Kind of simliar to Topman's style. Anyways..Went Kbox after that, Teddy did not join us. He needed to save money for his birthday next wednesday. And he thinks we don't know that he is saving to buy all of us a meal..sighh..actually his presence is enough..we don't need a treat from him..

Going on...was at Kbox Cineleisure with so many people..there was Marcel, Sperm, Bird, Ian, Cassandra, Faith, SiWei...haha..finished off at 9...went to mos burger over at Orchard Emerald..met up with Nurul..she got transferred to OGM...dammit..now we can't meet so often..hmm..then went to play abit of pool..and shared a cab with Marcel and Cassandra home...

Going back to MI to visit my friends as promised..wonder what they will say..hmm..haha..goignto get ready now..then go back to MI and head for school..it starts at 3 today...



Welcome To My Life...

Tuesday, July 13, 2004


I don't know whats wrong with me. Feeling under the weather. Just hung up the phone with Natasha...Marcel den called me on my cell when i got up and walk over to get my phone..i was staggering..i am really giddy. Can't get to sleep because of my dry cough. Hmmm..something is wrong...dead wrong..



Welcome To My Life...



Slacking in the computer lab in school now. Lesson was not properly planned so there is literally nothing to do now except to type this stupid entry.

Have to do some workshop stuff later on. Think i will be going even though the idea of it doesnt appeal to me. Will be borrowing my friend's dust coat. Forgot to bring mine to school.

School is still very boring..nothing interesting. I end at 6 today. But am looking forward to tomorrow. Hoping to hang out wiht my friends at kbox. Haha..hopefully everything will turn out well.



Welcome To My Life...

Monday, July 12, 2004


Too lazy to blog yesterday. Slept instead. Went town with so many people. Kind of ruined my plan for shopping. Didn't buy anything..am afraid that i might squandle my money away. Thats not good..was not in a very good mood yesterday so there is nothing much to write about.

Today was pretty stale..pretty much the same as your average study day. Almost dozed off during lectures today. Tiring. Very tiring. Got back home at 4+ cuz i took a taxi. Then went for a short jog, did abit of weights. Went home. Took a shower and watched television till now.

Am dead beat right now. Actually there is nothing much to write about..the same average school day. Oh ya, i have drama auditions this coming 14th, 15th, 16th. Hope that i can do well...Hmm..well thats about it i guess.

Still have to do abit of revision...



Welcome To My Life...

Sunday, July 11, 2004


Went out with Joey and Meiwen today. Did some catching up.

Met Joey at 2 over at Far East, talked alot..shopped alot. Walked so much..from one end to the other, to find a suitable pair of sandals for Joey. Met up with Nurul during her lunch break at mos burger over at OGO. Went to OGP and saw Ah Lian with Ker Ching...then we went for more shopping..till bout 6+..we went to meet Meiwen for dinner. Had dinner over at Marina Square, Kenny Rogers..good dinner..did alot of catching up...took pictures..too lazy to upload now..haha..but consider this, me going out with 2 women in their twenties. Haha. I had to dress to match their age, wore my glasses and looked much older. Haha. But still, i can't match up to their standards. Haha. Both of them dressed to kill, in case they want to go clubbing..in the end we went to Esplanade, talked..talked talked..eat cotton candy...talked talked talked...then Joey and Meiwen went to club at Madam Wong over at MS.

Tomorrow i won't be going shopping with Jieying already..long story...hmm..unless some kinda soul will call me up tomorrow and say that he/she is free to go out after 4. Haha. Then it will be sweeeeet. Hahaha.

I think my father and I are drifting apart. Maybe i am just sensitive and insecure after the birth of my youngest half brother Alden. The presence of strangers in my house really affects me. Its over crowded and noisy. No sense of privacy at all. And living in a house full of politics? It can really drive one bonkers. Its very stressful living in a house like this. Its like trying to survive in the house full of politics and sometimes i feel like i am in the middle of a reality tv show like Big Brother or something similar to that. I think its the way my father handles things. I think its wrong. Well, i really have to sit down and talk to him and voice everything out. People who have loving families and a whole family, please treasure what you have..



Welcome To My Life...

Friday, July 09, 2004


Didn't get to blog yesterday yet again. Had some problems logging in. Well, yesterday i just went to school as normal, after that i waited with Tracy for Jieying. Jieying and I went window shopping, get ready for our shopping spree on sunday! Haha. Jieying is my newly hired wardrobe assistant. Haha. Teddy is my personal trainer. Denise is me personal accountant. Cassandra is my personal assistant. Yes. Thats the plan when i get a recording contract with BMG, Sony or Virgin records.

Today i skipped Maths lecture. Hester helped me to take my attendance. Thanks man! After which i met up with Teddy @ NYP then went to Seletar Country Club. I went through a gruelling 2 hour workout. It was so invigorating. Haha. Denise and Cassandra joined us later on. Went swimming, had dinner and went home. I had a blast today! Honestly, i am very elated and happy that the day turned out the way it did. Very very happy today.

I got home and i received yet another letter from NYP. And yes, my appeal to changed course has been rejected. It was unsuccessful. And now, i can feel that i am going to have a pimple outbreak. I can feel the pain from under my skin. Hahaha. Better do something about it...



Welcome To My Life...

Thursday, July 08, 2004


In the computer lab again. Yet another lesson on autocad drawing. I find it very complicating. Just found out my team members on a major project that i will be working on. I have a healthy functioning group..thank god. Hopefully it will stay like that.

My friends won't be free to go out today. they have another gruelling dragon boat training..boring..lesson starts now.



Welcome To My Life...

Wednesday, July 07, 2004


School starts. School ended. Played pool. Went home with Jieying. Reached home. Eat nothing. Argue with stupid annoying fucked up brother. Whats new?



Welcome To My Life...



Currently in school. In the computer lab. The computers here are so sophisticated and cool. The teacher is teaching us autocad drawing but i am not paying any attention to him. My friends can't make it to go out today, dammit, can't catch up with them.

I signed up for Tennis just now as my CCA. Haha. Intend to join volleyball, bowling, french club, drama club...haha..but i have to narrow my choices to 2 or 3 only, cuz i do not have the time for all.

Do i have to put up a front in front of others to be accepted? Do i have to not be myself? Sigh. People think i am the class nerd and stuff just because i am the class representitive. Sigh. Gotta go pay attention now..have to try, or else i will flunk this module...



Welcome To My Life...

Tuesday, July 06, 2004


What if tomorrow really never comes? What if my life ends tomorrow? What if i have not fulfilled all the things that i want to do? What if i can't bring myself to tell the special someone something? What if...so many "what ifs"

Looks life i have not settled things yet...

School today, was fun..but so what? Made new friends..but so what? Yes, friends are important..btu will i see them for long? Will i get to see my friends for long? I really don't know..

The boy who cried wolf. Thats me. But this time, its for real. No one takes me for real but i do not blame them. Its my fault. But its ok, i do not want anyone to be sad for me..i have not lived life to the fullest..only 18..have lotsa things to do...

Will i be remembered?




Welcome To My Life...

Monday, July 05, 2004


Didnt get to blog yesterday, reason being cuz i forgot bout it..hwo could i ever forget blogging..haha..anyways i did forget..and i only remembered when i woke up the next morning, which is this morning.

Bascially yesterday was just slack, then went shopping and stuff, bought so many stuffs.

Today i went to school. First day of school. It was fun. Had alot of admin owrk to handle, being the class representitive. Met alot of old friends whom i lost contact with and made lots of new friends. Was afraid i could not be accepted for being myself and stuff but i fuess it should be alright now. Got to know afew of Jieying's friends also. There was Priscillia, Jocelyn, and joycelyn's boyfrien was Sean Yang. Haha, such a small world. Hang out in school with Fo'En and Kelvin...Hester and groupie..haha..basically thats it..hopefully tomorrow will be better.

Miss all my friends man..then usual people and my MI friends..hmmm...actually come to think of it, i have met alot of people in my life..they walk in and out of my life, but whatever it is and whoever it is, i am so grateful that every single one of them walked in and out of my life..even those whom i ever bickered with and stuff...am grateful.

My godparents came back from London, they got me such a cool bag..i love it. Think i am going to wear linen pants and essential tee to school tomorrow..



Welcome To My Life...

Saturday, July 03, 2004


Basically slacked the whole day today. My friends went for dragon boat training...haha..wonder how it went..they didnt call me..so ya..thank tmr they are going sentosa..wun be joining them..nto sure why either.

Went to my aunt's place for dinner as usual. Everyone basically nagged about my hair and stuff, asking me to study hard, go to church etc..the usuals..so fed up..haha..but i dun blame them la..just irritated..then had steak, mashed potato, mushroom soup..nice dinner..then watched tv..slacked there and went home..

Had a long conversation with my mother on the way home in her car, talked about my family problems, really felt better..glad that i talked to her..and now..back home again..sigh..home everything will turn out right!



Welcome To My Life...



Basically slacked the whole day today. My friends went for dragon boat training...haha..wonder how it went..they didnt call me..so ya..thank tmr they are going sentosa..wun be joining them..nto sure why either.

Went to my aunt's place for dinner as usual. Everyone basically nagged about my hair and stuff, asking me to study hard, go to church etc..the usuals..so fed up..haha..but i dun blame them la..just irritated..then had steak, mashed potato, mushroom soup..nice dinner..then watched tv..slacked there and went home..

Had a long conversation with my mother on the way home in her car, talked about my family problems, really felt better..glad that i talked to her..and now..back home again..sigh..home everything will turn out right!



Welcome To My Life...



Basically slacked the whole day today. My friends went for dragon boat training...haha..wonder how it went..they didnt call me..so ya..thank tmr they are going sentosa..wun be joining them..nto sure why either.

Went to my aunt's place for dinner as usual. Everyone basically nagged about my hair and stuff, asking me to study hard, go to church etc..the usuals..so fed up..haha..but i dun blame them la..just irritated..then had steak, mashed potato, mushroom soup..nice dinner..then watched tv..slacked there and went home..

Had a long conversation with my mother on the way home in her car, talked about my family problems, really felt better..glad that i talked to her..and now..back home again..sigh..home everything will turn out right!



Welcome To My Life...



Basically slacked the whole day today. My friends went for dragon boat training...haha..wonder how it went..they didnt call me..so ya..thank tmr they are going sentosa..wun be joining them..nto sure why either.

Went to my aunt's place for dinner as usual. Everyone basically nagged about my hair and stuff, asking me to study hard, go to church etc..the usuals..so fed up..haha..but i dun blame them la..just irritated..then had steak, mashed potato, mushroom soup..nice dinner..then watched tv..slacked there and went home..

Had a long conversation with my mother on the way home in her car, talked about my family problems, really felt better..glad that i talked to her..and now..back home again..sigh..home everything will turn out right!



Welcome To My Life...



Basically slacked the whole day today. My friends went for dragon boat training...haha..wonder how it went..they didnt call me..so ya..thank tmr they are going sentosa..wun be joining them..nto sure why either.

Went to my aunt's place for dinner as usual. Everyone basically nagged about my hair and stuff, asking me to study hard, go to church etc..the usuals..so fed up..haha..but i dun blame them la..just irritated..then had steak, mashed potato, mushroom soup..nice dinner..then watched tv..slacked there and went home..

Had a long conversation with my mother on the way home in her car, talked about my family problems, really felt better..glad that i talked to her..and now..back home again..sigh..home everything will turn out right!



Welcome To My Life...



Basically slacked the whole day today. My friends went for dragon boat training...haha..wonder how it went..they didnt call me..so ya..thank tmr they are going sentosa..wun be joining them..nto sure why either.

Went to my aunt's place for dinner as usual. Everyone basically nagged about my hair and stuff, asking me to study hard, go to church etc..the usuals..so fed up..haha..but i dun blame them la..just irritated..then had steak, mashed potato, mushroom soup..nice dinner..then watched tv..slacked there and went home..

Had a long conversation with my mother on the way home in her car, talked about my family problems, really felt better..glad that i talked to her..and now..back home again..sigh..home everything will turn alright..



Welcome To My Life...



Went out with the usuals yesterday. Played badminton. There was Teddy, Denise, Cassandra, Marcel, Bird, Sperm but this time there was Rene, Siwei, Leroy..had a blast...such a fun time..tired but fun..

But while playing badminton..i look at Marcel & Teddy, they were so good at badminton..and its like i think of myself as the useless one again..i dunno...its like i am more inferior to them..i am so upset yeterday...


Even now..i am so pissed..confused..sad..whatever..family paroblems...dammit...



Welcome To My Life...

Thursday, July 01, 2004


Tired...from the maths lecture i had today...dammit..3 freaking hours! Haha...i basically slacked throughout the whole lecture..slept...sms...haha...and today during the orientation..i was all ALONE!!!!

When i went to NYP, i saw my classmates and then i was so happy, cuz it would be more fun than that day..so when i went to mark attendance..the OGLs told me i am transferred to group 2...i was all alone, everyone knew each other, they had like so many china kids in my class, one hongkee...1 act beng fucker who sucks up to his "leader"...1 old and try to be funny ah beng, one punk cum ah beng...the 3 of them are always together..like they are the head of the class or something..super freaked up. And the hongkee girl..she is insane...snapping pictures of everyone..i know i am mean by calling her a hongkee..but..she is just whacked! Haha...then there is this 26 year old filipino from my class..he always sleeps and snores in class...hahaha..extremely hilarious fellow...

I realised my previous was much better...dammit...wished i didnt changed class..and thanks to my personal mentor YOON ENG TONG, who made me the class representitive...and i told him not to..and that i am not goign to fulfil my duties, he didnt care..he is insane i tell u...but funny la..coming up with all the shit..hahaha..telling us nonsense..hahaha...

Got my updated timetable. Mondays and Tuesdays are the worse...end at 6. and it starts from 8. Argh. and on tuesday, during the whole day of lessons, i only get 1 hour of lunch break..thats all..the school is insane..haha...and very strict, i have not got my admin card yet..hope i get it soon..before school reopens.

Going to watch tv now..going for badminton tomorrow the the usuals..hope it is fine man!!!! Going over to TP to play...yes..get to snoop around the campus. Hahaha...maybe i should join Tennis as my 2nd CCA..hmmm... :D